Evaluation on Classmate Essay

Published: 2021-06-29
941 words
4 pages
8 min to read
Wesleyan University
Type of paper: 
Article review
This essay has been submitted by a student. This is not an example of the work written by our professional essay writers.

In the peer review article, different points proved and also put into tabling. It basis on the population of people in the entire world and related the community to their feeding habits. The article also intends to look for some involved parties to blame for the occurrences or activities of poor nutrition. In the selected number of people, as you try to show the implication of the actions and the reasons behind the attempt of individuals having the poor nutritions and why at some point they cannot avoid. Also, as you try to argue that mostly the food manufacturing firms or organizations are being responsible for these poor nutrition occurrences, the companies make their concerned attempts to realize the needs of the people without having to consider these issues of foods as they believe they do their best to give the services.

However, in describing this problem, you end up describing the activities of the companies and the wrong doings of the money making organizations. The main topic at issue in this article is the problem of poor nutrition and who to blame for the problem. The issue is a proper description, but you end up giving a one sided argument that does not describe the entire issue and also does not weigh both sides of the problem at hand. The opinion is very clear as it explains the major issues leading to the reasons why people purchase the manufactured foods.

Also, gives the explanations behind the reasons as to why the producing companies or firms produce the underrated or poorly nutritious food and introduce them to the market. As for the side of the writing, the side of concern for these companies providing these foods is an issue that someone might disagree with but at some point may also push a person into agreeing with the side of the firms.

In writing, your enthymeme is concerning on who to blame for poor nutrition is well put into written form. Besides the clear description of the topic at hand, the enthymeme is not in the correct form as it only describes and blames one side of the argument. The stories explain the reasons as to why the individual should take the blames and also tell on why the companies should take the blame but in the entire writing it stipulates out that the companies should take the full responsibility which should not be the case. As a way to improve the enthymeme, the articles needs a correct balance between the parties to blame without having to blame just one party of the situation or one side of the case. Also, to improve the enthymeme, the article should focus on the activities of both the individuals and the companies that lead to this occurrence of poorly nutritious foods. The article takes so much explaining why the companies produce the poorly nutritious food rather than teaching on who to blame for the poor nutrition.

With the question why in the essay, its anticipations are not well put into the description as in most of the events; it does not answer the questions as attributed to the topic in hand. For example; about the questions on the consumers infectivity to practice the nutritious methods, the vents descriptions are inadequate. The question on to why the users should take the blame concerning the poor nutrition is poorly put into descriptions as the descriptions only tell on the issues relating to consumers and the food producing industries. A proper and clear evidence is relevant to the customers failure and also to the reason as to why they should take the blame of the poor nutrition. It the primary purpose of the article thus a relevant evidence is crucial so as to place a proper balance between the arguments about the companies taking the blame and the consumers taking the blame.

Looking at the quotation in the article, they relate to the discussion at hand or in the description by the particular paragraph. These citations help greatly in giving the evidence of the material, but in most of their setting, they are just thrown in. The placement of these citations is not clearly; however, they show the page numbers. Also, the opposing viewpoints in the article are not in a proper description. In the opposite argument, the writing basis is mostly on attempts of the food firms looking into making money than looking into the needs of the people. So much information on the money making companies is evident rather than a balanced argument. A clear distinction between the points between them and the opposition is apparent but are not into a proper description explaining the events of the debate. In each topic sentence of the paragraph, an appropriate description of the occurrences is an adequate description. The topic sentences play a significant role in describing the flow of the article and an in a correct and appropriate writing and match the entire setting of the material.

However, the first paragraph of the essay is the most efficient as gives the thesis statement and the topic under argument in the piece. It also gives the information relating to the article, and all the writing is all about. The last paragraph in the essay is also the most important, but in this section, it is less effective. It does not give the balance of the argument and also the great keynotes in the essay. It should provide the reasonable assumptions and needs. As a way to improve the paragraph, it needs proper reviewing and also description thus I would recommend revision of the article.

Yours sincerely, (your name).

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